Culture Clash between Monogamy and Polyandry

The culture of monogamy and the culture of polyamory1) frequently differ in profound assumptions on the way society functions. Some of the differences are2):

1. Religion

First and foremost, religion has a very different place in both cultures. The culture of monogamy is infused from top to bottom with the sacred, in personal, family, community and national life. Worship of God is frequent and assumed. The culture of polyamory tends to hide religion, even to suppress it in all things public. It worships God less and demands religion be private.

2. Freedom

The culture of monogamy views freedom as the freedom to be good: the culture of polyamory views freedom as having no constraints imposed on you. Thus, in the culture of monogamy, insight and intellect are paramount for knowing the good that has to be pursued, while, in the culture of polyamory, what is paramount is the will to do what one likes.

3. Metaphysics

In metaphysics, the culture of monogamy tends towards a belief in objective truth—that reality exists and can be known. The culture of polyamory, on the other hand, tends towards a relativist and an ideological understanding of truth—that reality results from an imposition of the will.

4. Morals

In morals, the culture of monogamy tends towards universal moral norms, while the culture of polyamory embraces moral relativism. The language of virtue sits well with the culture of monogamy but uncomfortably with the culture of polyamory.

5. Laws

The laws of the culture of monogamy protect by forbidding—outlawing—certain actions. The culture of polyamory protects by prescribing programs and ensuring outcomes.

Beyond its code of moral wrongs, the culture of monogamy leaves all goals and actions freely available to everyone. The polyamorous culture, having less of a code, constantly increases prescriptive and regulatory detail, telling people more and more how they must act.

The laws of the culture of monogamy are designed to protect one’s capacity to pursue legitimate goods of one’s choice (and they are myriad) but those of the culture of polyamory are designed to guarantee particular outcomes for everyone.

The constitutional state was the product of a monogamous culture; it could never have emerged from a culture of polyamory. The constitutional state assumes responsible citizens. The expanding social welfare state is the product of the culture of polyamory and is increasingly hostile to the culture of monogamy. It is created for less responsible citizens.

Regulations are minimal in the culture of monogamy because laws, stated clearly in the negative (“Thou shalt not”), require minimal regulatory interpretation. The culture of polyamory through programs and policies aimed at outcomes and safety nets, enumerates what must be done not only that which may not be permitted.

6. Behavioral Bureaucracy

The culture of monogamy, built on appetite constraint, has little need for a behavioral bureaucracy. The culture of polyamory, designed as a safety net not only for the unlucky but the unrestrained, increasingly relies on social welfare programs to rescue its adherents from the effects of its form of sexuality. Without its net, the culture of polyamory would collapse of its own weight and disorder.

7. Children

The culture of monogamy, by being child-oriented, is future-oriented and full of hope: the child is protected and the next generation, the future of the country, is the main focus of the society’s work. For the culture of polyamory, the present welfare of adults is its main focus.

In the culture of monogamy all human life is sacred and protected, be it the pre-born, the handicapped, or the elderly. In the culture of polyamory, about one third of the pre-born are killed by their mothers, and the handicapped and elderly are unwelcome and increasingly vulnerable to early elimination.

8. Family

The culture of monogamy is built around the traditional, natural family for its protection. In the culture of polyamory, the traditional—natural—family is just one option among many and often considered a nuisance because of its claims to special difference and superior effectiveness.

9. Men

In the culture of monogamy, men are anchored in their families and tied to their children and wives, through the free and deliberate focus of their sexuality. In the culture of polyamory, which treasures sexual freedom or license, such sexual constraint by men or women is not expected nor is any attempt to foster such acceptable, for such would be the antithesis of the main project of the culture of polyamory: polymorphous sexuality whenever desired.

The culture of polyamory, contrary to the claims of radical feminists, aggressively fosters the male they most decry: the sexually and physically harassing, the abusing and abandoning male. Being the natural cost of its defining project, these and related dysfunctions justify and necessitate more safety nets.

In sum, in the culture of monogamy men not only are anchored, they are required to be so. In the culture of polyamory, women are the anchors while men can drift or be cast adrift, as desired, and they do so in very large numbers.

10. Gender Roles

In the culture of monogamy, gender roles are more differentiated, with women more fertile and likely to give more of their time to the tasks of motherhood, while the men are likely to be the sole or the main source of family income. The culture of polyamory is much more androgynous, its main focus being equality of outcomes for both men and women in the workplace and in the home.

The culture of polyamory cultivates strong girls (a good) but at the cost of weaker boys (not a good).

For the public purse, the culture of monogamy is inexpensive; the culture of polyamory is very expensive.

1) Polyamorous individuals hook up with multiple sexual partners throughout their lives.
2) This entry draws heavily from Culture Clash: Sexual Monogamy vs. Polyandry.